Thursday, September 30, 2010

Training Wheels -“But I Can’t See the Road!”

The hardest thing about riding with Ty is I can’t see the road. I have no clue as to what’s ahead, when to brace for bumps, sudden braking, or that killer dragon fly that just went kamikaze. I am getting better with letting him be the one in control, but I don’t know if I will ever get over wanting a better view.

I have found that my lack of perspective can be quite maddening. We will be driving along and suddenly pass a turn I wanted to explore – or more likely a shoe store I wanted to buy out, but nope, too late we are already too far down the road. Or if I do see it and shout in his ear that I want to turn there, he sometimes drives on by anyway. It is frustrating to know that asking is my only means of getting what I want, and knowing that I am going to ask too late because I couldn’t see.

What I am learning is that often Ty sees things I miss. He sees the bit of twist metal at the foot of the drive, or the loose gravel that could have sent us skidding over the asphalt. Usually Ty will bypass those dangers in favor of keeping me safe, and to make matters worse he disregards my requests in favor my safety with no apology. Oh, I could get mad and spring from my place behind him, but I don’t see how that would be terribly beneficial.

One of the great things about Ty is that when I do yell in his ear, he usually nods and goes where I ask. He likes to make me happy, and if exploring a new road will do it he is happy to take me exploring, and he even tolerates the occasional shoe store. I am learning that if I just speak up, ask for what I want, even if we have already flown by the turn, he is okay with turning it around for me. I just have to be patient. I have had to learn to trust his judgment on when it is safe to turn and when we just need to keep moving ahead. I am learning I don’t always need an explanation from him about why he chose this way over another. And more often than not, he is pretty good at finding an alternate route to get us there – one that does not involve death or dismemberment.

It is easy to hold on to Ty while we fly down the highway. The dangers are so obvious, and my need to trust him is so clear. What I tend to forget is that my need to hold on to God is so much greater, I lose sight of the fact that the dangers are just as real, and the stakes are so much higher than just my physical well being.

Living a life of faith is like that. We yell in God’s ear what we would like to do, where we would like to go, but in the end He is the one with a clear view of the road. And it is in our best interest to accept the path he chooses for us, believe he is smart enough to get us to our destination, but for some reason, we often hurl ourselves into the middle of the highway because God didn’t do what we wanted. And then after we get run over by the chicken truck, we want to complain that God allowed us to get hurt.

I have to wonder why we are smart enough not jump off a motorcycle going 65mph but will joyously fling ourselves before all manner of spiritual dangers. Do we somehow think that God loves us less than another person? Do we think that he is less capable of caring for us than another human being? Do we really think that we are wise enough to spot the dangers before him? That we are somehow wiser and more knowledgeable than him?

Too often we forget that our view of the road ahead isn’t the only view. It isn’t even a good view. The highway of life is littered with debris, road kill, and potholes big enough to swallow us whole. Avoiding them requires that we rely on a God big enough to see them, and trusting him to move us through it with grace. And the really cool thing is that even though I can ask for what I want, God already knows and began moving us that direction before we were even aware of what was around the next bend. And He does it for the same reason Ty takes me where I like, He love me. It isn’t always easy, but sometimes we do just need to sit back, hold on enjoy the ride. We need to remember we don’t have the whole picture and sometimes what seem like random events and pointless turns are really an orchestrated plan to get us where we need to be.

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