Learning Great Things

I have been puzzling out what to write about the past few days, but recently all my thoughts have been centered on the Splendor and Holiness Seminar. Nathan and I have been working furiously checking and double checking our information so we get it right. And I don’t want to give too much away, but I will say it is going to be good.

As we have started pulling our information together and beginning to articulate what we have learned about worship, we have found that so many of us don’t really understand the full depth and purpose of worship. Our primary definition of worship is often too small and we miss the grandeur of what we are doing. Each new idea that we explore has brought us face to face with God’s creative wisdom in how he reveals himself to his children.

Some of the ideas we will be exploring will be worship as an inspired act, how worship brings unity to the body, and the distinction of description and definition within worship. Worship does more than serve God through music, it is participation in a relationship with the Father, and the depth of our relationship is reflected through many expressions of worship. We will be talking about how worship shapes our culture, and how our culture impacts our worship. We have been encouraged as we have seen how small shifts in our perspective and understanding have opened up the world of worship to mean something far greater than we originally anticipated.

We believed that we were pursuing the right topic for this event, but the doors that have been opened and the resources that have been made available only confirm that this is a matter of utmost importance to the body. Our goal is not to tell you how to do worship, give you the right formula, or even try to persuade anyone to do things differently. We hope that through providing you with some Biblical teachings and perspectives, you will experience the awe that we have encountered as we have begun to piece this all together.

We have been encouraged by the number of you who have shown a desire to know more about worship, and we glad to have those of you who currently serve on the worship and praise teams of your church join us. We are also delighted to have the individuals who want to take their personal experience of worship to a new depth. To be a worshiper is to occupy a place of honor, and our desire is to help us all learn how to fulfill that role even more honorably.

And let me encourage every Christian to see themselves as worshipers. This seminar is not only for those who sing, play an instrument, or participate in the things we have traditionally called worship. It is for anyone who serves our God and desires to know more about his intent for our lives, and how to function as a unified body of believers.

Pray for us all as continue to press forward with one of our favorite dreams.

The Fourth, Fifth, and Sixth Questions – The Scary Answers

The fourth question people ask us is “What church are you with?”

Pagus itself is not with a particular church but the individual members are active within their respective bodies.

We have had several amazing churches that have been incredibly supportive of what we are doing. These churches have donated facilities, technology, or one of the many other things we need to make this happen.

The decision not to be officially affiliated with one particular church was intentional. We never wanted anyone to say, “I can’t go to that because it is for the members of that particular church.” Our events are designed to be as inclusive as possible while not compromising our responsibility to present the Word with integrity.

The decision to remain autonomous, in some respects, was a scary one. It meant that people cannot quickly or comfortably label who we are, and for that reason some chose not participate in Pagus events. However, I would encourage anyone who would like to know more about our core beliefs to contact us. We would be happy to answer any questions you might have, but allow me to address some of the basics.

We believe in God the Father, Creator and Sustainer of the Earth. We believe that Jesus is the preexistent Son and was a man born of a virgin 2000 years ago, and through the power of his life, death, and resurrection he freed us from the power of sin and death. We believe that the Holy Spirit resides within and empowers all who have accepted the free gift of salvation, and the Church is the expression of his continued power to transform lives. The Bible is the Holy and divinely inspired word of God, the revelation of his heart and character to his body. It teaches, comforts, convicts, and surprises all who study it. And Jesus is coming again to claim his bride.

Really, I should probably just insert the Apostle’s Creed here, but I think you get the idea.

The fifth question usually goes like this-

“If you are not under the authority of church leadership, who keeps you accountable?”
Well, while Pagus is not officially accountable to any one church, it does not mean there is no accountability. First and foremost, we are accountable to each other. We all seek the counsel of the others to confess our sins, struggles, and fears. If we have a doubt on a particular teaching, we talk it out, look it up, and research it.

In fact, hours each week are spent in individual study and discussion over everything we present. Most of the teachings are the result of years of study and experience. Nathan and I pace the floor while having marathon phone conversations about upcoming events, Barbie texts me with really odd Bible questions, and we constantly ask each other – “Where is that in scripture?”

It is difficult to find the words that convey how acutely aware each member of the team is of this terrible and amazing responsibility without sounding arrogant. The weight of it shakes us to the core, and every so often we find that one of us is asking “Who am I that I should do this?”, “Am I qualified?”, or “What if I mess this up?” These are good questions to ask, and we remind ourselves that God once used a donkey, so . . .

Added to this, we have many friends who devoted their lives to ministry, or simply lived lives that have demonstrated a maturity of faith. We use them shamelessly, and we rely on their wisdom and discernment to help keep us on track.

The sixth question –

“Why don’t you just start a church?”

Not even an option. I am tempted to say never will be an option, but you know how God and that whole “never” thing goes. Many a person has woke up in Zimbabwe because they had the audacity to say, “God, I will do anything, but I will never go to Zimbabwe.” And poof, the next week God calls them to the mission fields in Zimbabwe.
The thing about starting a church is usually all we do is reshuffle Christians to a new building. We really don’t want to do that, but we can help equip the church. Our desire is to teach, encourage, and facilitate. We don’t have to have a church to do that.

By offering events that open to many different churches, it gives members of different congregations a chance to share ideas, discuss their differences, learn from each other, and just maybe help us become more unified by our shared relationship with God – instead of by what building we sit in on Sunday morning. And my Bible leaves me with the impression that the whole unity thing is pretty important to God.

Obviously, this is just the cliff notes on these issues, and the answers are deeper than can be expressed in a few paragraphs. The only real way to know who we are and why we do what we do is to get to know us. Come to an event, email us, look us up on Facebook, or even call. We are always happy to talk about Pagus, God, our faith, - come to think of it, most of us will talk to just about anyone about anything.

Putting It All Together – Part 4 Passports and Puffins on the Pagus

In case you haven’t realized it yet, dreams are big deal to us at Pagus. My dream, your dream, and the dreams we get to dream together.

Several years ago, I was trying to find just the right Christmas gift for Nathan. Now we grew up in a family where getting gifts usually meant buying something practical or needed for a person, and I tended to follow that rule. After all, can a person really ever have too many socks or too much underwear?

This year, however, was different. I kept thinking I needed to by him a leather passport cover. I tried to talk myself out of it. It seemed like such a frivolous waste of money when we were both struggling to get by, but nothing else seemed to be the right thing. As I drove to Tulsa to fight the holiday crowds, I kept thinking how foolish I was being wasting a whole day to get a cover for a passport he did not have, for a trip he would not be able to take anytime soon. It was really beginning to bother me that something in me refused to yield the idea to commonsense.

I kept asking myself why it was so important for me to get him something so pointless, so worthless to our present reality. Somewhere on that drive I found the answer. I won’t say that God spoke to me, there were no burning bushes, clouds did not part, no audible voice shook the world, but it was like all the little pieces of
everything I knew fell into place.

That year had been really tough on us. If I remember correctly we had both lost romantic relationships, and were feeling rather lonely. We were both wondering if we had made the correct decisions – he was living far from home and I was single mom working her way through school. Money was almost nonexistent, and we just wanted something to make sense. The dreams were becoming obscured by reality.

Sometime about then we had begun to learn more about our family history, and became intrigued by our Irish ancestry. It seemed the more we learned about this people and land the more we understood ourselves. Many of the books we read would describe a particularly Irish trait and we would call each other and say “You know that thing you do. . . Well, this book says this about that.” The more we learned the more we wanted to go and see this place. We would talk about the day when we could go check out this pub, that castle or monastery, or the island where the puffins gather. And who can resist puffins? Really? They are like little cartoon characters God decided to bring to life just to make me smile.

But back to Nathan’s Christmas present. I realized that this year I wasn’t just buying him something everyone else thought he needed. I was buying him something I knew he needed. He needed to know that his dreams were important. He needed to know that someone else saw the value of his desire to go and see this land. Not because it practical in the conventional sense of the word, but because it is necessary in the truest sense of the word. And I do not know if I actually mean that the trip is necessary or if the gift is necessary.

Let me explain.

The truth is Nathan may never make it to Ireland, but that’s not the point. The point is we need someone to see our dreams and value them with us. We need people by our side who say I will make your dreams a priority to me. And we need to invest in the dreams of those we love, because our dreams are the truest part of who we are. They reveal our hearts and souls as nothing else can.

As Pagus had grown beyond just me and Nathan, we have found a group of people who believe in our dreams, who have chosen to value our vision. Some have chosen to walk with us because they believe in what we are doing. Others simply because they love Nathan and me. There are a few who have joined us because we have believed and invested in their dreams. And I believe it is safe to say, that for most of those who are now a part of Pagus it is a combination of all these factors.

We could not do without their help. We have people who work on the website, take photographs, check my layouts for typo’s, donate studio time, offer their homes for meetings, prepare meals for our gatherings, pass out fliers, make phone calls, do research, and listen to me rant. People whose talents fill in the gaps in ours, people who are more practically minded and keep us on track. I have one friend who randomly texts me good ideas for marketing – got to love that. Another one who gives me lime and chili almonds because she knows I will forget to eat, and still another who watches my kids so I have time to put things together.

And it is more than all the work we do or the things we give, we have begun to dream together. We have found the pieces of ourselves that might have been lost if someone else had not said this part of you is valuable and worthy of my investment. There is power in that, something indescribably freeing, and of infinite value. My dream does not work if theirs fail and something in their dreams will be lacking if I get left behind. We all need this.

It is not enough to dream in the dark. We have to expose them to light of day if they are ever to take a form. Find your team, find people who can value what you do, who you are, and people who you can trust with something as delicate and valuable as this piece of yourself. They are the ones who help you make it happen, and you do your best to make it happen for them. You will be surprised at how far you can go.

The Third Question- The somewhat long answer.

We put a huge amount of emphasis on longevity. After all we see business and companies, even churches open and close so quickly that we have to wonder how long anything new will last.

So obviously, people want to know how long has Pagus been around.

If you start from when we had our first event, it has been about two years. If you start from when we knew what to call this venture, it has been about ten years. If you want to know when the dream was born we would have to go back about eighteen years (that little bit of math made me flinch!), but like everything else in this world, the circumstances that led to Pagus began way before its inception.

Nathan and I were talking one night, probably one morning is more accurate. We had either been to dinner with a group of his music friends or had just come back from a Collective Soul concert. Either way, it was one of those times when we had once again been confronted with the dichotomy of who we are. On one hand we are Christians who believe with utter abandon, and on the other we artists who share in all the burdens and joys of that reality.

Our artistic friends often do not understand why we are Christians. Nathan and I aren’t like other Christians, or so we are told. We tend to like dark movies, edgy music (okay Nathan’s is edgier than mine, but he is my baby brother). We are fairly knowledgeable about various faiths, and tend to listen when someone is explaining their faith even when it is not in alignment with our own. We throw ourselves into the concerts we attend with them, and love their energy. The list could go on but if you know us you get the idea.

It really should not surprise anyone that our Christian friends often wonder why we hang out with our artist friends, sometimes referred to as that “bunch of heathens/sinners.”(At this point in the conversation, I like to point out Jesus’ friends.) It is sometimes really hard to explain to those who do not share in our artistic temperaments that these people are some of the greatest people alive, full of passion and fire. Almost every conversation with an artist turns to spirituality and they are willing to explore new ideas – if you know how to speak their language.

Nathan and I found ourselves talking that night about how as artists we need other artists in our lives, and how sad it was that often these two aspects of our being had to be held separate due to the inherent mistrust that these two groups hold for each other. And to be fair there is reason on both sides. We began to think of ways to bring these worlds together, not just for our own sake, but because they need each other. (It would be another seven years before I knew just why or how badly we need each other in this respect. I found the answer in the Bible, of all places! ) That night we decided that if we ever did try to do something organized (I use that term loosely), we would call it Pagus. In remembrance of those who braved the supposed monsters of the Pagus to bring God’s word to a people everyone else was afraid of.

We made some very deliberate decisions soon after that conversation. Some out of our own volition, some because God seemed to be pushing us through doors we were just content to peek into. Nathan left to help with a Church plant in Norman while he worked on his music. I went back to school and got my degree in psychology and eventually Biblical Literature. We jokingly said Nathan was doing the field work while I did the academics. We had no idea how true those word would prove to be.

It is ten years later, and we have since broadened our scope. The artistic community still needs to know there is a place for them in God’s kingdom, and the Church still needs to come to a greater appreciation of the insight the artist brings to the world, but now we know that the a bridge must be built. Language and cultural barriers must be overcome. There is so much work to do if we are ever to bring these realms together, but looking back we see the how God has orchestrated our very existence for such a time as this. So in a way, I guess you can say from God’s perspective we have been here all along.