Saturday, November 6, 2010

Training Wheels - Curling Irons DO Fit in Harley Saddlebags!

When Ty and I got married we had a few obstacles to overcome, not the least of which was how I was going to get my curling iron to the honeymoon. I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal, but we were leaving the wedding on his Harley and there is limited room in the saddle bags.

Ty wasn’t even for sure that Harley could function with such a feminine device on board. He hemmed and hawed about the space it would require, studied the layout of the things he had packed, and finally, with a scowl acknowledged that it would fit. However, before I could breathe a sigh of relief, he announced that I really did not need a curling iron so it didn’t matter.

Let us pause for a second and think this through- I had spent the prior three months planning ways that I could be beautiful for this man. I had designed and sewn the perfect wedding dress. I had colored my hair the perfect shade of auburn, had my body painted the perfect shade of tan, and assembled the perfect honeymoon equipment with the help of my friends. And now this MAN, decides I don’t need a curling iron! What was wrong with him? Did he miss all the effort I had put into making sure that everything presented to him was pleasing to his eyes? Not need a curling iron! He might as well have said I didn’t need my left leg.

I think he realized his mistake once the words were out of his mouth, because he immediately recanted with –“Well, we can take it if you think you really need it. You always look beautiful to me, baby.”

Now, I blame him for distracting me with the curling iron debacle and causing me to arrive on scene without a hairbrush, but the curling iron did make it to our cabin. And, no, I never used it.

We are learning how to make room for each other. Ty is learning how to redefine his list of what is and is not allowed in the saddlebags, and I am learning how to take only what I need. And that is really at the heart of the matter, what do I need?

Ty is practical. Limiting his load to the bare essentials, but I am a girl, need I say more? Our list of essentials is wildly different and it means we make space in our lives for different things. He is happy as long as I am with him, but I want to look my windblown best. It is taking some time, but we are learning to appreciate what the other values. And truthfully, it didn’t take me long to appreciate the fact my husband always has an extra jacket in his saddlebag.

Ty is figuring out that it is important to me to look good, and he even made provision for it. Provision that doesn’t require a curling iron in his saddlebags, and is a little more in keeping with the Harley image. He bought me bandannas in girlie colors and a hair glove to lace my hair in while we ride. He stopped laughing when I color coordinate my bandannas to my outfits, and he even helps me snap my hair glove into place.

We are different, and we are finding out that it is okay. I will never understand all the things that my husband knows almost instinctively, and he will never completely get why I still sometimes insist on packing things like a curling iron, but we have found that there is room for each of us to be who we are even as we become one. We are learning that we can make room for curling irons, and maybe even accept that sometimes there are better alternatives.

And I am finding that every time my husband finds a little extra space for “all that girlie stuff”, I feel a little more valued as his wife and as a woman. It means there is space for me in his world, a world I am just beginning to understand but one he desires to share with me.

And yes, there is a lesson from all of this-

God has a great and wonderful adventure he wants to share with you, but are you willing to turn loose of the stuff you thought you needed? Will it turn out just to be a curling iron you won’t use because He provides you with something so much better and suited to the situation? Can you trust that he has exactly what you need hidden away somewhere and it will be given when you need it?

Turning loose of what you think you need is sometimes the only way you can make the journey. And every now and then we all need to sit down and look at our lives to see what we are holding onto and what is holding us back. Every now and then we need to reevaluate what we deem to be important and accept that we are in a new season where yesterday’s needs are today’s wants. Maybe it is time to ask, exactly how attached are we to that stupid curling iron anyway?


Olde Hermit said...

I so wish this didn't apply to me half as much as it does. :)


Emily said...

It was a rather rude awakening for me too, but I am beginning to think that is the whole point of marriage and any other relationship- to show us all the things we need to work on. Yuck!

Olde Hermit said...

I am finding this out too. Yuck is right.

Anonymous said...

wow....Rude awakening doesn't even begin to cover it. I LOOOOVVEEE this!!

Emily said...

Just a heads up. The installment of Training Wheels looks at the other side if the issue, not packing enough.

It felt rather good to know sometimes I do know what I need in those saddlebags - sometimes better than Ty.